If I Were President...

In the brief update section of this post:
+ School is good. Fake college shall officially be a thing of the past
+ Tomorrow is my last day at work! I’ll be starting at a new company soon, which is sort of exciting and sort of intimidating.
+ Shah has come and gone and I miss him dearly. We a great time going to bars, making a random road trip to the beach and “raising hell, causing chaos and eating.” I can’t wait till next time.

This weekend will be full of friends and activity. Thursday, after work, I’ll be carousing with co-workers in celebration of them finally getting rid of me. Friday is the pre-party celebration for Mr. Haresign’s big 2-1. Saturday will contain the majesty of The Power Cosmic, and Dave’s graduation celebration / farewell party. I am not sure one day can handle both to be honest. I between I’d like to see a few friends I’ve been neglecting and of course sleep…just a little.

Last night after I decided that I could not read anymore for school and was done with pressing responsibilities I decided to turn on the boob tube. In doing so I saw two of the most amazing things. The first was a commercial for Old Spice in which Bruce Campbell of “Army of Darkness” fame sang Duran Duran’s hungry like the wolf with only a piano to accompany him (which he played) while a bevy of beauties surrounded him. On top of it all the song was in a lounge act style. Needless to say I was highly entertained and nearly spat out the sandwich I was eating at the time.

The second occurred while I was watching the Colbert Report. It concerned Tommy Chong and his appearance on Fox News (I believe). They had him on a news program to discuss Paris Hilton and her recent incarceration. Chong defended Hilton and cited Mel Gibson’s “shenanigans” last year as evidence for a vindictive court. The entire segment was very other-worldly. He even managed to fluster the news anchor and make himself look quite capable. Colbert re-aired the interview and had the man himself on the show to explain himself. When asked directly if he was high his response was simply: “Of course!” with and almost befuddled expression on his face as if to ask Stephen why he would expect anything less. (I’m sure you can youtube it or whatever…)

Moving out of the realm of pop culture into the more seedy and morally murkier domain of politics—it is only a short 17 months until the general elections! You know what that means…

That’s right, I become a news junky! And for the first time since 1928 both the Rebulican and Democratic parties have no presidential incumbent. This is the stuff that dreams (and possibly money, but I’ll get to that later) are made of. While some may grip that the candidates are wasting the peoples time, their money and interrupting valuble T.V. time with their nonsense, I love it. The sniping, the scandal and everything in between. Joel Achenbach wrote a somewhat derogatory Op.Ed. in Sunday’s Washington Post. In it he called this “red meat season,” referencing the blood thirsty sport that high level politics has become. I agree with Mr. Achenbach. Completely in fact. I just think that it’s similar to the Roman Coliseum. We get to watch combat in suits instead of armor, the gladiators using words and not swords. The game is no less deadly though. I defeat early on or a fundraising snafu can spell disaster. And the greatest part about the whole thing? Instead of slaves fighting for our entertainment it is the Emperor himself….and I guess that no one has to actually die.

Call me cynical or crazy or whatever but this is my favorite time of every four years. So what about my money comment, you ask? Well I propose a pool (for whatever, even just the honor of it) in which the Primaries, Caucuses and yes, November 5th itself for a sort of March Madness-esque bracket system (similar to Amy’s system on the West Wing, if anyone is that big of a nerd?). The Republican hopefuls on one side and the Democratic candidates on the other, one could even work in the Congressional, Senatorial and Gubernatorial races along with various referendums and mayoral elections. Although that would maybe require a lot of research into a lot of places no one really cares about. Anyway, the first Primaries are on January 14th. In order to keep utter destruction of one’s brackets to at least a theoretical minimum I think the deadline for predictions should be at the end of the summer. Say August 31st. I’d love to hear suggestions and I hope I can make up a form sometime in the next few weeks.